The whole time I had been thinking that I wanted to play a fun game, make everyone laugh, play a cool song. I wanted my devotional to be different, to be funand usually that stuff is easy for me. I can get creative and think of all that stuff, but this time it was like I had hit a wall. I could come up with NOTHING.
Then I skyped with my family.
Well, first I talked to my brother on the phone, and then everyone elseuntil the internet finally decided to work and then I saw everyone. Standing in the kitchen getting ready for dinner. I saw all the food, all the pop, but most importantly all the love. When they sat down to dinner they put the computer in a spot where it felt just like I was sitting at the table. It was beautiful.
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After a few minutes of watching them eat the delicious food I realized it was getting super late where I was and I had to goand before we hung up I cried with Claire for a while.
Then I just sat there and felt totally overwhelmed by love. I had already cried that morning; I miss my family a lot, a stinking lot. But I know that I miss them because of how much they love me and I love them. They are the ones who taught me how to love.
This week the women who talked to us had told us a story about working with street kids in Brazil. She had been talking to one of the boys about what he had learned from his parents and he listed a bunch of different things and then said to her, You learned better things at your home. And she was a little confused and asked like what, You learned how to love.
I learned how to love at my house(s) .
I learned to love through tickle fights and weekend shopping trips, through cooking dinner for everyone and making buckeyes, through board games and talking at the kitchen counter, through learning to change the oil, hang dry wall, and properly wash a car and watching Gilmore Girls . I learned to love through never looking up at the stands of a swim meet, volleyball game, tennis match, second grade soccer, and not seeing my family there or not hearing my Dads always too long clapping; from never coming out of a Musical or dance recital without a thousand pictures and flowers. From being able to make Shelly cry just by being there; from hearing my Dad say he is proud of me. From the unending trust I have from my mom; from the unbreakable bond that I have with Claire; from the hugs I get from Zack and from the way my little sisters look at me.
Then I sat there and I realized that even as much as my mom, my dad, my step mom, my brother, my sisters, my grandparents, all love me God loves me even more . That was the first moment I really grasped that. How much love He has for me. It is not just this easy, feel-good love we talk about all the time, but it is an aggressive love. He will stop at nothing for us.
Oh How He Loves was not written in a time where the writerjustreally wanted to praise God for the love He gives us, but at a time when these we're the words he needed to hear. This guys' friend had just died and he did not know how to feel- but God's love was still there. God does not promise us easy times or a perfect life but He does promise to love us as He loves Jesus. WOW. I don't know if you remember, but Jesus died on a cross. God loved Him so much, but loved us enough to have Jesus do it, that wasn't easy.
"I am a tree, bending beneath the wait of His wind and mercy." God loves me (us) sointensely that we can's stand straight.
It is, it is just overwhelming and beautiful.
That is what my devotional turned into, me crying because I know how loved I am. So I want to dedicate this to my family and friends who send me packages, message me, send me mail, and pray for me.
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Posted in Churches/Faith/Religion Post Date 06/07/2017